Time Is Coming For Me

“I let the whole world know I was fine

before I wasted my life away

I wear a fluorescent smile

but become more hollow everyday

And still the clock ticks on

I know time is coming for me

I’m reminded every second

but he won’t let me go down easily

I’m somehow surviving this life that everyone’s living

But everybody’s taking

yeah, everybody’s taking

and I just want something to give

I’m prideful and vain

and still you were drawn to me

but over and over, it’s not enough

to lay my heart at your feet

Time will come for you, too

But with you, it always slips away

time is just like you,

you never seem to want to stay

I’m alone in my head

so I lock the door and throw the key away

dive headfirst into my sea of pain

float on my back with the current

and ask myself ‘was it worth it?’

if there’s no real happiness to gain

Because everybody’s faking

yeah, everybody’s faking

and I just want a damn good reason to live

It’s a little hard to swallow

after I’ve waited oh so patiently

for life to allow some peace to come to me

but if I’ve learned just one thing, it’s that

life’s real fickle

and you should never take it seriously”

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Generation Y

 

“I’m letting myself go

I’m not keeping track of time

I’m letting myself know

that when it’s all over, I’ll be just fine

these days are supposed to hold

the best memories

you’re paying for nothing

no worries, everyone smiles

take the picture, please…

the future holds debt and lies

bloodshot eyes

staring at a computer screen

for the rest of your life, what are you going to do?

the universal question

that always gets an illogical answer

‘we’re gonna be in movies and get pointless tattoos…’

you’re going to cry over wasted time

those stupid moments that you realize

you missed out and watched

from the sidelines

now close your eyes…

in time, we will all learn

who we are

why is dying so easy

while living is so hard?

I’m going to miss youth

I’m going to miss you”

Traits

I’ve often wondered how our traits are chosen. Genetics play their part, of course, but it seems some things are no accident. I like to imagine that there’s a trait chef in a trait kitchen being filmed on an episode of Chopped. He combines his ingredients to make a new concoction. Once the traits are fried, sautéed, and stirred all about, the chef serves his plat du jour to the judge who chews on a bite for a long time, contemplating. After a few seconds she breaks the silence. “You have made an interesting choice in ingredients. I can definitely taste the constant jealousy, and there’s a hint of an over-achiever. Your use of misunderstood and social ineptitude is pleasant, but the cynicism is over-powering. The dish has good intentions, but overall it is quite plain. Needs some work.”

Stranger

“We’re driving towards the water

The air is getting hotter

The humidity is high

It’s a week after graduation

And the lack of communication

Is rising with the tides

And I say farewell

To the house I

Never called home

This place is a stranger

These empty white walls

Remind me

That this

Was never

Where I belonged

I just wanted to make you happy

But I can’t let you have me

All to yourself

I’m done with your plan for two

I’m so tired of trying to please you

And everybody else

And I say hello

To the town I

Always wanted to get to know

This place is no stranger

To starting over again

Tell me,

Was this

Where I needed to be

All along?

And I look back

at all the memories

That I love more

Than the person in front of me

When did I become

This dark person that I hate

I’m this monster that you made

But you carelessly left open my cage

And the worst thing in the world

Is to grow up

And die alone

But now you’re a stranger

Who it hurts me to hold

I can’t pretend anymore

To be the person

That I won’t”

Months

“It’s been about a month

that you’ve been gone

and I have to find a way

to make it through

23 more of these

after 6 or 7,

I might be all right

but now, I come home

and drink every night

until I don’t feel a thing”

 

Old Flame

 

“I’m letting you believe that everything’s fine,

I sweep the mess of me you left here

under the rug

to give you your ‘time,’

But just in case you care, I’m not okay.

And I don’t know, really,

how to explain why.

I’ve been rejected hundreds of times,

but with you it’s like

a thousand knives

stabbing me

from the moment I wake,

everyday

You said to use the lighter instead of the torch,

to keep things from falling apart,

yet you went and struck a match,

poured the gas,

and set the whole damn thing on fire

So don’t give me your pretty, packaged lies

about your needs

and how you never have them all

at the same time,

when you weighed your options

and made the decision to stay wherever you are.

But I wait here

among the soot and the ash,

the ruins of this thing,

that I thought would last,

the embers of what was right

in front of you

and I’ll be here

until you see what you had

and come back.”